Nun-ternship
By Honna Brown on November 22, 2011
Ever since I was a little girl, I have always had a certain fascination with nuns. I think it all started when my mother showed me the classic musical, The Sound of Music. I remember watching Maria running through the hills, singing her heart out and seeming not to have a care in the world. I always admired her for that and found myself dreaming for that type of a lifestyle, carefree and among a place of women who were always singing together.
Romania has allowed me the opportunity to see a few Monasteries in real life, since Eastern Orthodoxy is so prevalent here. I had never seen a nun in real life before this trip, but now I have. It has even given me somewhat of a taste to what living with all women might be like, due to the fact that I only came over here with a group of eight other women who have truly and easily become my sisters, something that I have been longing for ever since I realized that my friends at school had them!
Horezu Monastery was the place that I discovered the brilliant idea of what I call a "Nun-ternship." As I was walking through the church and grounds of the Monastery I was so inspired by the solitude of these women and their choice to separate themselves from the sometimes unhealthy pressures that the modern world puts on women. A place for them to focus on finding solitude and beauty in everyday life, on an active search for the Beloved. The idea of this inspired me greatly. I imagined the great lessons I could learn if I became a nun myself. I imagined being surrounded by a group of other women, maybe similar to the women that I have spent my semester with for the rest of my days, growing and learning together, and striving to see ourselves as the Beloved Daughters of Christ with each passing day.
After I romanticized on the idea of committing myself to be a nun for the rest of my life, reality cracked the rose-colored lens that I was seeing the world through:
- I am not Orthodox or Catholic
- Would I realistically be able to be quiet enough for most of the nuns' tastes that I would encounter at the monastery with me?
- Can nuns listen to Bon Iver and sing their hearts out to Caroline Smith and the Goodnight Sleeps?
- Could I give up my two dancing feet, who so lovingly prance around as many dance floors as possible?
- Ok, I am going to be honest.... could I live without men and the romance that accompanies them? There, I SAID IT! (Darn you, Jane Austen and your stories that inspire my heart to mix with my thoughtful head.)
Then it came to me, "What if you could commit yourself to this lifestyle for a certain period of time, like an internship? Brilliant." If this did indeed exist, then one could experience the benefits of taking a few years of solitude to hear the voice of the Beloved in his or her own life and then take that voice back into the world with them and allow it to follow and bless them throughout his or her life. I know that this maybe defeats the purpose and devotion of the calling that a nun that fully commits herself to this lifestyle, but maybe there is something special about wanting to devote yourself for a short period, too. I personally think so, but maybe I simply not cut out to be a nun.
Even if this dream never comes true, this semester has been a taste of what I think the life of living with a sisterhood of women devoted to Christ and each other would and should be like. Everyday I find myself thanking God for these incredible women that he has surrounded me with. These women that I have grown with, laughed with, prayed with, discussed life with, danced with, been giddy out of my head with, allowed myself to be vulnerable with, cried with, cooked with, hiked with, learned tough lessons with, sat in silence with, and of course sang songs into the night with. God knew what he was doing when he put Romania on our hearts and brought us together in the small city of Lupeni, the city that is hugged by the mountains and kissed by the sunsets each evening. As our time draws near to an end here, I pray that we would never forget all that we have learned about ourselves and how we have learned more than a few lessons about loving others more than ourselves. I pray that we would always hold each other, our sisters, close to our hearts, whether they are near or far. I love you all, thanks for loving me. I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. - Philippians 1:3-10
